You Can’t Touch This

Dumb Blog of the Day:
Guy Kewney on the iPhone

It’s a curious thing but Apple really bring out the stupid in people.

I’m not talking about the fanboys. We know about them. I mean the knockers too.

Not that there’s anything wrong with knockers. Hell, no. I like knockers. Just not dumb knockers.

I imagine there’s a whole lot of dumb going on out there about the iPhone (Technorati currently lists about 5000 iPhone entries) but who has the time. I’ll just point at Guy Kewney and laugh for a bit.

He kicks off his analysis with a curious ad hominem. He compares Jobs with Saruman, presumably because this is his only frame of reference for dealing with charisma. But then he appears to get a bit confused and thinks Jobs *is* Saruman. He proves the folly of criticising Jobs by using a quote from Tolkien rather than, say, an example from The Real World™.

Whatever. That’s not the issue.

The really actually worrying thing is just how much he missed the whole point of the new iPhone touch screen interface. However, it does make it easier to understand how a random person from the Congo could have been used to comment on Apple instead of him.

Ignoring all the new (at least allegedly) revolutionary user interaction in the iPhone, Guy is solely concerned, maybe even disorientated, by the lack of the iPod scroll wheel.

How will we, The Public, cope? How is it even possible to consider browsing a music collection without a scroll wheel? Even on the iPod shuffle, “Apple decided people wanted the scroll wheel.”

Except of course that

  • the Shuffle didn’t actually have a scroll wheel
  • Apple didn’t really have the choice of implementing a touch screen UI instead

But let’s say Guy was right. Let’s say that maybe maybe maybe people really can only use the scroll wheel now. However, Guy comprehensively demonstrates that he really doesn’t get it with his closing words.

“This time next year, we’ll have to see if they decide to launch a version 1.5 with the scroll wheel on the back…”

Sweet Teen Bejesus. They spend millions developing a virtual touch screen interface that can be programmed to act as any 2D UI imaginable, only to be told that they should stick a physical scroll wheel on the back.

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January 11th, 2007 | Dumb Blog of the Day

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